Deaf To All But The Song
by sailorbutts
Summary: Gensokyo Girls' High had already been a sufficiently eccentric school environment before... now there's no hope for it at all. AU! Mostly crack, involves KeneMoko, YukaRei, MariAli and other shippings.
1. I

**I.**

Of all the loudest, most obnoxious students at Gensokyo Girls' High, none could but pale and be stunned to silence by the arrival of Alice Margatroid. The quiet new addition to the grade eleven class had but arrived that morning, and in no time at all she had become more wild and wonderful a centre of attention than had ever been before. Within hours, the innermost dirty details of her life thus far had been sought, stolen, and exploited into the viewing of the general public on the front page of the school newspaper; the contents of which were shocking to the extent that several fainted students had had to be rushed to the nurse's office at the rate of wounded soldiers to a hospital during the Second World War.

"_A NAME AND NOTHING MORE_," the headline read in big, bold capital letters. There were no pictures on the front page, but something about it was captivating nevertheless; the author seemed to have gone for a format that, to say the least, was _unique_.

"_Name: Margatroid, Alice_

"_Date of Birth: Unknown_

"_Parent(s) or Guardian(s): Unknown_

"_Family Background Information: Unknown_

"_Schools Attended: Canadian Academy, Kobe (approximately grades seven to eleven)_

"_Honours and Awards Received: Is fluent in English._

"_Academic Information: Above average. Scores generally range from ninety-four to ninety-eight percent._

"_Participation in Extracurricular Activities: Volunteers at shelters. Is proficient in carpentry._

"_Disciplinary Information: Keeps to herself._

"_Psychological Evaluation: Does not interact with living things._"

While this could hardly be considered an article, nobody really gave two shits as long as the school's trusty cycle of gossip kept spinning around and around – so just like that, Alice became the most popular girl in the school. What was not to like, after all? Not only did she have a strange, foreign sort of beauty about her, but she was probably... a pro at badminton; an-all around formidable athlete who spoke five languages, knew famous Europeans, and was academically so perfect her teachers had to chop a mark or two off her grades every once in a while so as not to arouse suspicion. Her only notable flaw was her unwaveringly icy, frigid manner – but even this, it was said, only added to the air of mystery that already hung about the girl wonder like a ghost.

"Such is the power of gossip," a student grumbled. Her back was propped sluggishly up amongst a line of narrow lockers, and as she spoke, her deep blue eyes rolled slowly.

"Such is the power of Aya!"

The dirty blonde beside her laughed, throwing an arm around the shoulders of her friend, letting the other still half-dangle by her side with the newspaper in its hand. The student with her back against the lockers scowled with genuine disdain towards such close proximity between them, and turned away, the white braids on either of side of her thin face whipping sharply as knives as she moved.

A girl with a head of brilliant brown hair, held back neatly by a pretty red ribbon, leaned in, scrutinising the article with more interest now that her friends' reactions were proving so interestingly mixed. Her dark eyes leapt quickly back and forth across the page, and at about the fifth or sixth line, they widened.

"Oh, wow," she breathed, "she's been to Canadian Academy!" Glancing briefly upwards to meet the gazes of the whole group, all overflowing with WTF, she elaborated, "Canadian Academy isn't just one of the most prestigious boarding schools in Japan; it's one of the most prestigious boarding schools in the whole _world_. Students come from all over Europe, North America, China, _everywhere_ to attend."

From above the brunette, a tall, pretty girl laughed. "Trust you to know something like that, Reimu," she remarked fondly.

A burst of colour became the brunette's cheeks, and she gazed off to the side.

The tall girl, a yellow-haired beauty, sighed dreamily. "Europe, huh? Must be some real hot guys at that school..."

A scoff sounded from her left; a laugh from her right.

"Who do you think you're shitting, senpai?" Another statuesque blonde looked entirely unamused as she spoke.

"Honestly," a short, boyish-looking student who seemed as though she ought still to be in primary school chirped loudly between rude, uncontained giggles and snorts, "as though anyone still thinks you're interested in guys, Yukari-senpai!"

Yukari didn't dignify this with a verbal response. She only smiled, winking slyly at the taller girl and playfully ruffling at the little one's hair.

The girl with the white hair – and issues – from before snorted. "Why the fuck is it called _Canadian_ Academy?"

Collective, unknowing sighs.

"Hey..." a green-haired girl broke in suddenly, seizing the fleeting silence that hardly appeared in the presence of such loud people for a chance to speak her mind on the subject of the newspaper article. The frog shaped hair clip atop her head glowed like a figurative lightbulb. "Isn't it weird to put 'is fluent in English' in Honours and Awards Recieved?"

Yukari leaned over Reimu purposefully.

"It does kind of seem like they were scraping what little they could to put her permanent record together. I mean... her psychological evaluation is 'does not interact with living things'. That's just fucked."

Silence. Contemplation. Realisation.

Collectively, the six of them nodded. "Yeah... it really is."

* * *

Across the hall, a thick puff of smoke left the lips of a girl whose hair fell freely to her ankles and was adorned evenly with several little white ribbons. In her right hand was a small, burning cigarette, and in her left was the hand of another. Her blood red eyes darted around between every person who passed her, gathered and whispering around the cover of a Gensokyo Gazette as each were, in silent, heavy condemnation. Her expression twisted angrily as she heard exchanges of falsehoods on the school's latest victim – some poor, unsuspecting new girl named Alice – and she breathed in, as if to calm herself.

"You'd better put that away, Mokou," the student to the left of the girl warned.

Mokou gave an absent hum of acknowledgement. The girl beside her, with the soft brown eyes and the light blue hair, tugged at her hand; and when this drew no response she reached over and snatched the cigarette away.

Mokou was quickly jolted into awareness. She spun around.

"Hey, give that back Keine!"

Keine pretended not to notice. She tossed the cigarette with flawless accuracy at a rubbish bin across the corridor and smiled at Mokou as though what had just transpired had not. The girl with the eyes that never ended frowned, but Keine knew that she was forgiven – they were still holding hands, after all.

"So," she began, leading Mokou down the hallway to their classroom, "this new girl. Pretty interesting, huh? And her first day hasn't even started."

"Hai, kaichou," Mokou teased, and then took a turn for the serious again, "but if you ask me, it's disgusting. Whatever's in this girl's past she clearly doesn't want it to be found out – and what business is it of ours anyway?"

Keine nodded, her smile crooked, unsure and a little apprehensive. "I don't disagree. No good can come of prying into her business. But..." she blushed a little, ashamed, "you're not even a little curious?"

Mokou laughed, finally, and looked a little more at ease. "Yes, I suppose I am. But still..."

The pressure she felt on her hand was enough to know she needn't say any more.

"I'm gonna do it!"

Mokou's head whirled around to take in the short, blonde girl who had just flung the window open. She frowned a little as a gust of cold air slapped her in the face, but Keine briefly leaned in and suddenly she felt enveloped in warmth again. As the girl by the window began to teeter dangerously off the sill, Mokou and Keine silently parted ways to take their seats.

"I'm really gonna do it this time, I swe–"

"That's enough theatrics for today, Rumia-chan."

Mokou observed the meek, calming girl with the green hair lift the blonde as though she were a feather, and place her gently through her squirms and her struggles in her seat.

"Thanks, Hina," Reimu exclaimed with a genuine gratitude, "you saved Yuuka-senpai another one."

Hina blushed a little, fiddling with the hair that was tied up under her chin and nodding as she returned to her seat. Reimu, however, began to experience something irritating breathe down her back.

"I think she _likes_ you, Reimu~"

She snapped her fist back, and it met the annoying thing in the face. Yukari leaned back into her seat, laughing as she held her bleeding nose.

"Man, you're gonna have to take me to the nurse _and _kiss that better now..."

Mokou vaguely acknowledged the Prismrivers begin to play something slow, soft, and rather sweet as – contrary to what most had been expecting – the brunette's mouth came in contact with the blonde's bloodied nose.

"Oi, Fujiwara!"

Mokou didn't try to hide the shudder that came over her at the excruciating voice from the seat immediately behind. Without even looking at her rival her eyes had instinctively narrowed, and her face took on a positively menacing front.

"What the fuck do you want, Houraisan?"

A snicker. Mokou felt the blood circulate directly to her fist, so that she might punch the bitch with such force a girl could only dream of.

"New student... thoughts?"

"None."

"Liar."

"Cun–"

"Okuu, Rin, set that fire out this instant! Settle down, class!"

Mokou forced her attention back to the front of the classroom as their short – this was an understatement – but endlessly energetic homeroom teacher began incessantly and vociferously slapping a ruler against her desk. A girl whose midnight black hair tumbled messily down her strong shoulders grinned sheepishly, and her friend, whose orange hair had been whacked into a pair of braids, poured a conveniently placed bucket of water over the burning desk, laughing heartily as she did so. Once the little blue haired woman was satisfied in that she had averted everyone's attentions to her, she grinned, and cleared her tiny little vocal chords. Absently, Mokou noted that the classroom door was wide open.

"As I'm sure you've all heard" – a menacing glace directed at the girl with the short dark hair and the pencil behind her ear – "today, I have the pleasure of introducing a new addition to the grade eleven class."

Mumbles, an ecstasy of fumbling. In the far left corner of the classroom, a bored blonde lifted a heavy eyelid.

"Please welcome Miss Alice Margatroid."

When the empty-eyed girl with the red headband stepped in, Marisa's eyelids weren't so heavy anymore.

* * *

**A/N: **Well. I actually started writing this chapter in September-ish, and then never got around to/was never motivated enough to finish it. It was half done when I found it recently and I thought this'll be fun to write, let's go for it. ;_;

This multichap isn't going to be an angsty highschool fic so I apologise if that was what you were hoping for. It's going to be _somewhat _plotline oriented but not really – for the most part, every new chapter is going to be like a little oneshot of life in Gensokyo Girls' High. It's mostly going to be crack, because I don't really write crack and writing this chapter alone was a hell of a lot of fun :D there will be shipping though so beware if you don't ship my ships.

Please review! The first chapter leaves the largest impression after all. c:


	2. II

**II.**

The changing room at Gensokyo Girls' High, just as any other girls changing room in any other high school, was a mysterious place. It was riddled with a strange, musty scent, formed of sweat and perfume, and retained all the unpleasantness of unshowered individuals without being as unbearable as it might have been if not for the female tendency to smell so pretty. The ruckus of the place was unbridled – from vicious cat-fights in the corner of blood, to almost-love-making in the corner of sweat – and there wasn't anyone in the school who knew that so well as the hockey team.

"Down! Put that hockey stick the_ fuck_ down!"

The sound of struggle roared – growls, breaking bones, body parts smashing into other body parts – and finally they managed to hold the rabid white-haired girl and her dark-haired rival back, respectively, before they could tear each other to pieces.

"Fuck you, Yuuka! Let me at her!"

The usually level-headed girl with the short, green hair frowned. Her brow was furrowed in a manner that was stern and commanding without being controlling or reckless, hence her place barking commands at random members of the team to hold the two quarrellers back. She was silent, now, but still rather miffed, and a finger that had been hanging in the air – previously occupied in demonstrating the armbar to Okuu – suddenly whirled around to the other side of the room.

"And you two," she yelled, her eyes narrowing further, "I know what you're doing back there! Stop fucking each other _right now_ and get over here!"

A muffled squeal was the only response Yuuka received, until Yukari sauntered around the corner with her hands on her hips. She pouted and tried to feign innocence, but one could easily see how proud of herself she was. As if to compliment her sentiment, Reimu appeared behind her, clearly flushed and a little roughed up, but hiding behind the blonde as she attempted to make herself presentable. Yuuka huffed disapprovingly, and turned back to the catfight.

"The hockey stick, Fujiwara."

Mokou wouldn't surrender the weapon. Kaguya smirked, and Yuuka sighed.

"If you give it to me now, I won't say anything when you beat her up after school."

"Hey!" the dark-haired girl protested.

Mokou scoffed and tossed the stick over to Marisa indignantly. The blonde breathed a sigh of relief and put the thing back where it belonged, with the others.

"You two have to stop fighting," Yuuka said, turning from the rivals to the lovers, "and _you two_ have to stop using the changing room to have sex."

The captain paused, and took a moment to begin striding back and forth before her ranks, pointing the rest of the players' flaws out in turn.

"Meiling, get your head out of the clouds. Okuu, I don't know what the hell you _did_ with the ball today, but the pitch isn't a science lab. Next time that thing blows up you'd damn well hope it isn't in my face. Youmu, it's a hockey stick, not a sword. This isn't kendo. Marisa, you're our star player, but you aren't the _only _player. Learn to work with others. And Flandre… just stop being a spaz."

The little, sharp-toothed blonde took a moment to remove her teeth from Meiling's shoulder and lower herself down to the ground. Meiling, consequently, seemed to have only just noticed the other girl's presence and took a moment to smile down at her and ruffle her rabid yellow locks. Youmu courteously pointed out her bloody shoulder, grimacing a little, and the red-head looked stupidly at it for a moment before shrugging. Yuuka rolled her eyes.

"How about we call it a day?"

Echoes of approval throughout, and the beginnings of chatter as the team members started changing back into their school uniforms. Reimu walked over to her locker beside Marisa's in as casual a manner as she could possibly muster, and as she pulled her shirt over her head, she cleared her throat.

"So what's the deal with the Margatroid girl?"

Marisa laughed – her first, automated response to everything anyone said – and started pulling down her shorts.

"There's no deal!" she insisted. Reimu wasn't buying it though; as was her job as the dirty-blonde's best friend she frowned and shook her head knowingly.

"You like her."

"I like everyone!"

"You _like _her."

"You can talk," Marisa shot back, pulling her mess of a black-and-yellow tie out of her locker and trying to decipher the knot she had left it in, "Yukari's _totally _your girlfriend."

"She is _not_ my girlfriend!"

Reimu huffed and tried to start tying her tie, when a pair of arms tackled her from behind and a pair of lips whispered something in her ear, and she turned bright red. Marisa pulled her schoolbag over shoulder, slammed her locker shut ungracefully, and laughed.

"Totally not your girlfriend. Right."

Reimu resigned to Yukari's embrace, and the taller blonde winked at Marisa over her shoulder. Marisa fiddled with her braid absently as she waited for the two of them, and when they started walking, Reimu looked her strangely.

"You're usually more impatient than this," she commented, "and I barely ever see you _thinking_. Are you really that bothered about her hating you so much?"

Marisa shrugged. "Well, it's not like I'm the only person she's cold towards or anything. Why would she dislike me more than she dislikes anyone else?"

"You're kidding," Reimu deadpanned, raising an eyebrow. "All that hatred she has jammed up behind her eyes comes out in a fucking flood when she looks at you."

"It means she likes you," Yukari insisted. Marisa shot her a thankful grin, and Reimu shook her head.

_Click._

"Damn, this is one_ sweeeeeeet_ scoop."

The three musketeers turned to the sky to find a girl with short, brown hair sitting in a tree, a camera obscuring her face. She had a pencil dangling behind her ear and was grinning ferally as the wretched device flashed and flashed.

_Click._

"Oh no you don't, Shameimaru!"

Marisa rarely looked unamused, but as she turned to find the girl with the twintails glaring at her with her phone's camera, she couldn't help it. The two girls were rapidly jotting down notes, and this obscure battle of journalism raged on furiously, even as Aya began to speak.

"I was here first, Hatate," she exclaimed matter-of-factly, then turned to the others. "Have you guys heard the news?"

"What news?" said Yukari.

"You mean you don't _know_?"

"Of course she doesn't fucking know," Reimu growled, "out with it!"

"Alice saved Medicine!" Hatate cut in.

"You know, the Melancholy kid, always gets bullied–"

"She was having it bad the other day–"

"Backed up against a wall like the movies and stuff–"

"And Alice shows up–"

"Beats up the bad guys–"

"Vanishes mysteriously–"

"And now the poor girl's fucking in love with her!"

Marisa frowned, and Reimu nudged her, smirking a little. "Don't like her, eh?" she whispered.

"Nope." The blonde huffed and proceeded to storm off like a child.

"Hey, wait up!"

Yukari and Reimu caught up to Marisa as she started stalking away, and the tall blonde flung an arm around the shorter one's shoulders. She squeezed the limb under her hand comfortingly, affectionately, and determinedly. "Don't worry, Marisa. Leave it to the expert; I'll get you set up in no time. And if it doesn't work… well, there's plenty of fish in the sea."

"I don't give a shit about the fish in the sea," Marisa pouted, "I want the cute, angry one."

"Sakuya?"

"Fuck you!"

Yukari laughed, and patted her back.

"Seriously though. I've got this totally under control." She winked. "You'll see."

* * *

**A/N: **Gahhhh, it's been ages since I updated this! Sorry for my immense tardiness. ;_; I _will _try to focus on this fic more, because I honestly have tons of fun writing it whenever I actually sit down and get around to it. Thank you to my reviewers, and for being so patient!

**TheSilentLord: **Thanks, that's actually really encouraging! My plotlines are mostly going to be cheesy and very WTF to be honest, because hell, that's what being a high-schooler is all about. XD I think the whole idea of the Touhou characters in a high school environment is hilarious, but totally irresistible. I'm usually not a fan of AU high school fics for any fandom, but this... this just needed to be done. Thanks for the support! I hope this story continues to entertain you. :D

**I Love You. No Not Really: **LOLOLOLOL. Your review made me smile. But I'm going to keep quiet about this, because I have a surprise in store, ohoho. ;)

**Wicked Hermit: **Lol, I know your feels. I'm totally wary of them too. Which is why I kind of don't even know what compelled me to try and make one work. XD Ah, you're like the only one who didn't have trouble recognising Chen! Yeah, sorry about that, everyone's a cusser in this story. Just because... high-school. I don't know about anyone else, but my high-school experience is that everyone's a cusser. XD No thanks to teacher/student relationships. I considered a couple of them, but then scrapped all those ideas. I just find it kind of creepy. LOL WHAT THAT'S A SHIPPING. HOW WHY WHERE WHAT WHO. Thanks!

**Eat Well And Be Happy: **Haha... yeah, sorry about that. That's just my writing style in general to be honest; vague, annoying, overly-complex and all. The other two girls (taller-than-Yukari and short-and-rude) were Ran and Chen, and the teacher was Cirno. Thanks for the feedback, that really helps with knowing what to fix; and thanks for the compliment too! :D

**Hyperkinetic-Rabbity-Thing: **YOUR REVIEW MADE MY DAY. That is all. (No, really.) I was literally letting loose with this story. I was sitting there, doing my maths homework and... "touhou(high school crap+crack) x yuri = massive orgy of hotness and win." (Not really, but might as well have.) THANK YOU SO MUCH 3

**Hynarin: **Yeah, I wanted them all to be normal in this one. (Until further notice.) OH YES OTP. You will be getting lots of THAT shipping here. ;) And sorry about that, I'll run you through the intros in order! Sakuya (leaning against the lockers and being angry at the world), Marisa (the loud, obnoxious dirty-blonde), Reimu (the goody-two-shoes brunette who gets excited about Canadian Academy), Yukari (constantly flirting with Reimu), Ran and Chen (rude, loud midget and tall, unamused blonde), Sanae (frog-shaped hair clip!), Mokou and Keine (being cute :3), Rumia (trying to jump out of the window), Hina (stopping this suicide attempt), Kaguya (bugging Mokou), Okuu and Rin (blowing things up), Cirno (unusually short homeroom teacher), Aya (the pencil behind her ear), and Alice!

**NordicLlama:** To be honest, I haven't played Ten Desires yet, and don't know much about the characters. If I get around to it I'll be sure to put them in, though! Thanks!


	3. III

**III.**

Contrary to popular belief, Meiling did not have a death wish. It was quite the opposite in fact; if the lanky Chinese maiden was falling out of trees, climbing over fences, jumping across rooftops or any other such reckless thing, it was purely because she wanted to enjoy life to the fullest. Presently, as she sat jutting precariously off the edge of the school's rooftop, her hair billowed gently in the wind, red like her fiery passion for life, and her smile was bright. Yeah, sure, she was kind of absent-minded and it was probable that she'd fall off and die one day while her head took a nap up in the clouds, but at least she'd die happy.

There was someone, however, with whom Meiling was familiar that did, in fact, have a death wish. At the very least, if she hadn't had one before, she did now.

"Sakuya-san! Hey!"

The moment Sakuya's foot touched the ground, Meiling's cries assaulted her relentlessly from above. The white-haired girl turned around stiffly to face her screaming, waving friend, annoyance blatant in her expression.

"What the fuck are you doing, Meiling?" she called up gingerly, bristling under the weight of several questioning gazes.

"Just chillin'," Meiling said, shivering, "and man is it _chilly_!" She laughed in appreciation of her own joke, and didn't seem to mind that Sakuya wasn't as amused. "You wanna come up here and warm me up?"

Izayoi Sakuya was not a patient girl. For a moment, she stared icily at Meiling as though in an attempt to scare her out of her carefree nature, but soon enough, that very carefree nature melted right through her. With a small sigh of defeat, she turned back into the school and made her way up the stairs.

"Yo," Meiling called again, grinning as Sakuya burst through the door. The red-haired girl extended her arms out in anticipation of a hug, but Sakuya pointedly ignored her.

"What's this about, Meiling?"

The Chinese girl pouted, but didn't let her arms fall. Instead, she strode forward and took Sakuya's hands, pulling her towards the railings, then letting go and seating herself atop them.

"Just wanted to talk to you," she said. "You seemed kinda down."

Sakuya's brow took a little leap of surprise. She sauntered forward a little, her gaze not leaving the teal in Meiling's eyes, and as the other girl began to colour a little at her intensity, she lost her balance tumbled backwards towards her doom. In an instant, Sakuya's arms were on hers, and pulled her back to safety. The girl with the white hair tried not to smile.

"I'm always down about _something_, so just leave it. You're such a fucking idiot."

Meiling grinned, and Sakuya waited a moment before letting go of her.

In the distance, a camera flashed.

* * *

"She isn't going to go along with this, Yukari."

Marisa shook her head in agreement. "I won't go along with this."

"See?" Reimu snorted, a triumphant smirk creeping up onto her lips, "No way anyone would."

"... Unless you do me a favour in return, that is."

Reimu froze up in her position, a righteous fist motionless in the air, a once-stable foot glued to the tabletop. Then, she shattered, falling into a disappointed mess at her girlfriend's feet.

"Fair enough," Yukari consented.

Reimu, even in her broken state, managed to scream in protest. "You're just going to say yes without asking her what she wants?"

"You and Reimu – sex life – all the details."

"Marisa!" The lump on the floor turned red.

"Done."

"YUKARI!"

Yukari leaned down, laughing. Tenderly, the put her arms around the emotional wreck that was her significant other and helped her up.

"Come on, Reimu," Marisa begged, "won't you help a friend in need?"

The brunette remained obstinately rigid. Her sharp, disapproving gaze flashed between Yukari and Marisa – back and forth, back and forth – but the two blondes only continued to pout until Reimu began to see two golden, wagging tails and four shining, pleading eyes on the pair of them. With a disapproving flick of her chestnut locks, she sighed.

"Why do I let you do this to me?"

Marisa squealed in a freakishly, uncharacteristically girlish manner and lunged at Reimu, choking her in her arms.

"_Yes! _I fucking love you Reimu, I knew you'd come around!"

"Yeah, yeah," Reimu mumbled, swatting Marisa away, "just make sure you get your hands on your stupid fucking tsundere, otherwise my sacrifice will have been worth nothing."

"You have no right to call _anyone_ a tsundere, koneko-_chan_," Yukari purred, grabbing the brunette's hand. As the two of them lapsed into their routine bickering (which Marisa was aware had an uncanny habit of escalating quickly into lots of sex), she inferred that this was likely a good time to take her leave.

"I'm going back out to the field, guys," said Marisa, "See you tomorrow!"

The yellow-haired girl, her hair pulled messily into a braid that hung over her right shoulder, bolted straight for the door without waiting for answer, grabbing a hockey stick on her way out. She was about to sprint over to the field, too, when suddenly the loud, hard crack of wood on plastic rang through the cold, damp afternoon. Marisa paused for a moment, uncertain – she was fairly sure she was the only member of the team to date who actually cared enough about hockey to practice on her own – but then she walked forward slowly, purposefully. She was quiet.

And then she was quiet not to remain undetected, but out of complete, utter amazement. Her mind was flung about her head and ricocheted uncontrollably. Before her, the sleeves of her blazer rolled up and mud splashed across her legs in a manner that she almost made to seem ceremonious, stood Alice Margatroid, stick in the air, ball in the net. Her expression was blank as she made the same shot again, _twice_, and then ran her hands along the length of the stick to examine its structural integrity. When she did this, though the muscles in her face did not waver an inch, something in her eyes – her blue, blue eyes – stirred. Marisa's feet took her forward.

"Hey," she called, before she could even think not to, "that's an amazing shot you have!"

Alice turned to her with the frown that was stapled onto her face and her eyes narrowed. Marisa shifted a little, uncomfortably, but tried to think nothing of it. _Remember what Yukari said._

"The hockey team is short one member, actually. You should think about joining."

But Alice's pointed glare began to gnaw at her. Deeply, Marisa felt the need to understand this gaze – understand how it had come about, what it meant, and whether or not it could ever leave – and she could not let herself look as though she were affected by it. She knew only one way to do that.

Marisa grinned.

"We have practice tomorrow at five if you're interested."

With that, she simply stood for a moment, and watched Alice Margatroid's eyes. She saw something in them change and churn, but she couldn't tell what it was – not clearly – only that there was so much more there than one could possibly imagine, and it simply had yet to be touched. Marisa _needed _to be the one to touch it.

Then, she ran back to the changing rooms.

* * *

**A/N: **I AM SO SORRY. IT TOOK ME FAR, FAR TOO LONG TO UPDATE THIS, AND IT'S SUCH A HALF-ASSED UPDATE. FORGIVE ME READER-SAN, AND THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT.

**TheSilentLord: **Yes indeedy, these will lead to many future developments... mwahahaha! Thank you so much for your feedback, it's very thorough and constructive. I appreciate it a lot!

**Psykoakuma: **HAHA, YES! Gensokyo _is _a lesbian paradise, mon ami. Can I just say I love your reviews? Never stop being so awesome. EVER.

**I3UNONOTRLLY: **Gomenasai, you shall have to wait and see! Sorry for the tardiness, and thanks for the review!

**LelUCares: **Yep, I shall probably have a cheesy sports storyline going on here, as is already becoming obvious lol. Thanks! And yes, I am hoping to do some research on the TD cast. I've been dying to play that game, actually, but I've not had the time. School has consumed me. ;_;

**Wicked Hermit: **Yes Sakuya is a cute angry fish ;) They were totes actua- I mean, that is completely open to interpretation, ahem. LOL YES IT'S TRUE, nothing is true everything is permitted. Thanks, you're like the only one who liked that aspect lol, and I enjoyed writing it that way. So I will indeed continue, and there will be many more characters/reappearances of characters in what is to come mwahahaha...


	4. IV

**IV.**

Koakuma was a funny sort of girl. She was a fine, red-haired student of average height and a pleasant demeanor; a girl who flitted around from crowd to crowd, smiling and laughing her way to fame like a little devil – this, of course, affording her the nickname – and turning heads wherever she went. She was one of those girls that everybody liked but nobody _actually _liked; she was far too friendly, a feat which people had a tendency to receive poorly and with jealousy. Considering this, most would actually think her quite generic – and in this they would not be mistaken – but Koakuma was only a funny sort of girl insofar as she didn't actually care for attention. While warranting it in great amounts, she never sought it, or revered in it, or hated it. Koakuma was a funny sort of girl, and naturally, she only cared for funny girls.

As it so happened, Koakuma had a great fondness for books. She loved everything about them; their styles, their textures, their smells, and all the meticulous writing and scrapping and writing and scrapping and screaming and smiling that shaped them. For all that, though, all of her favourite books were the same in that they were all invariably headed by a funny sort of girl in a funny sort of world, barely getting by with her funny sort of ways. If only these girls were so easy to find in reality as they were on pages and in words, Koakuma might have found living life far more worthwhile than burying her cute little nose into far off worlds. But while funny sorts of girls were not so easy to find, she was bound to find one someday.

That day, as the reader is no doubt beginning to grasp, was the day about to be described.

To say it was a day like any other would be both ridiculous and clichéd, as it obviously was not. Koakuma would never have been so eager to flutter around asking questions with feigned ignorance and cute little inclinations of her head as she were that day had she not heard the rumours that she had. The rumours that she had heard that day were of a mysterious presence in the school library; a muted, lavender aura of infinite knowledge that blessed or cursed whoever encroached on its territory. Of course, no one was aware of the fact that anyone used the library at all (when in fact Koakuma was there more often than her own bedroom) but she was fairly certain that nothing about her brought on thoughts of lavender, or of wisdom. By the time the story had been published by Shameimaru Aya – or had it been Himekaidou Hatate? – the redhead was certain it had to be more than rumour. And if it were more than a rumour – if there were any truth to it – that meant she had to find this spirit, beast or person and remove it from her sanctuary as soon as possible.

The anticipation of ghost-busting generally doesn't comprise a day like any other, so Koakuma was probably expecting it to be a funny sort of day when it began. She'd be lying, though, if she said that tiptoeing to the library door in the middle of the night with bobby pin and flashlight in hand wasn't giving her an ever-so-pleasant rush of adrenaline. Her fingers shook with energy and her eyes were alight with excitement as she picked the lock, turned the handle, silently pushed the door open, and ghosted into the library.

Koakuma's first thought when she entered was that the room wasn't as dark as she thought it would be. It _was _dark, but the shelves were bathed in a weak, yellow light that shook like a flame, and somehow scared the shit out of her more than complete darkness might have done. Gathering herself with a slow swallow, Koakuma pointed her flashlight ahead, opting to leave it on so she'd at least have a chance of blinding her enemy, and searched soundlessly for the source of the eerie light.

After a moment of surveillance, the unused librarian's desk was beginning to look promising. As Koakuma drew ever closer, sweat began to blanket her brow, and her feet felt heavier and heavier. She forced herself forward another step, and another, and another… and–

"EEP!"

The red-haired girl hardly knew what was happening in the next moment. There was a splash of purple and a rustling, and the flashlight fell from her sweaty hands. She scrambled for it frantically, just catching it before it hit the ground and thrusting it ahead with two trembling arms at the beast below the desk.

"Oh," said the beast. "Can I help you?"

A small girl with purple hair looked up nonchalantly from her book. Her eyes were deep, intelligent and piercing, and Koakuma could not admit to knowing what she might be thinking or feeling (if she was even capable of either), but somehow her eyes were calming.

"Um…"

Suddenly Koakuma realised herself, and in realising herself felt ridiculously stupid. She cleared her throat, switched off her flashlight, and gave a small, introductory bow.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you," she blurted, "I heard some rumours about someone hanging out in here and I was surprised because I've never seen anyone else in the library before. It's always locked, but I always sneak in, but then I lock it on the way out, so I thought maybe I should investigate… or something."

Koakuma breathed. The girl's face was unmoving, but her eyes seemed to change.

"I've always been in here," she said matter-of-factly.

Koakuma flushed. There was no fucking way she hadn't noticed someone else in the library for... what, a year now? Someone who went to her school, too, someone whom she had never seen… ever. Now that she observed it, the girl was wearing a cute little lavender nightie and had her school uniform folded neatly beside her. Had she been staying overnight? An onslaught of other questions arose at that – where was her family? Where did she get food? Where did she even get money? And why was she camping out in the fucking library anyway? – but Koakuma didn't say a word. The girl sighed.

"I'm Patchouli," she offered, "Patchouli Knowledge."

Right. Names. Why hadn't she wondered what her name was?

"My name's–" she shook her head, "Well, everybody calls me Koakuma."

Patchouli Knowledge stared. With what, Koakuma didn't know, but somehow she got the feeling that Patchouli Knowledge had known this already.

"Don't let my presence disturb you," she said, finally, "We're both merely here to read."

With that, Patchouli turned back to her book and Koakuma just stared at her for a moment, reveling in the complete absurdity of the situation. Then, she took a book from those scattered across the desk and laid it on the ground beside Patchouli, who was still. Koakuma then lowered herself under the table, next to the smaller girl, and unzipped her hoodie.

"You must be cold," she observed, dangling the clothing item towards the purple-haired girl. When Patchouli was silent, Koakuma draped it gently over her shoulders and picked up her own book.

In the silence, she smiled, and thought that Patchouli Knowledge was a funny sort of girl.

* * *

It was a harsh truth, but the school nurse was virtually useless. At Gensokyo Girls' High, students had a tendency to be uncannily resilient, and rarely suffered from sprains or broken bones – in which scenario they would probably be sent to hospital anyway – and they were all far too lively ever to be taken ill, either. If anyone needed to visit the nurse at all, it'd probably be just to grab a plaster or a pressure bandage and run off protesting that they were fine.

Inaba Reisen, however, was mysteriously injury-prone. Almost every day she would fall off the stairs, sprain her ankle playing football, cut herself in woodwork, or pass out in the middle of class. She was probably in the nurse's office about twice as much as she was actually in the classroom, and eager to learn about medicine too. That was what the rest of the student population – Shameimaru Aya included, oddly enough – were content to think, and Reisen was content for it to remain. For the truth, as the universe would have it, was that Yagokoro Eirin was a stupidly attractive woman of about twenty (she had graduated high school a year early and was a fresh nursing graduate), who was stupidly intelligent, stupidly amiable, and with whom Reisen was stupidly in love.

As if the situation weren't messy enough to begin with, Reisen's feelings also made her subject to pointed abuse from a certain jealous Houraisan Kaguya, who all but made the poor girl her slave in exchange for keeping her secret. Kaguya loved Eirin with a ridiculously tsundere front, and a scarily yandere substance. Suffice to say that the dark-haired girl was spoiled like a princess and far too used to things going her way to be able to handle loving someone else well at all. Instead of doing something about her feelings, she thought it'd be better to take them out on Reisen, who was clearly the nurse's favourite. Fujiwara no Mokou had a tendency to intervene, though, and Reisen's little sister had a tendency to play vindictive pranks on Kaguya on the weekends, so she wasn't alone. Not entirely.

"Inaba-san? Are you okay?"

Reisen blinked. Eirin was staring at her with evident concern that only served to make her more feverish.

"F-fine," she assured, looking down at her bloodstained hand, "I think I hardly know how to feel pain now."

Eirin smiled a little, but didn't seem entirely convinced. Her soft grey eyes brushed over Reisen's shoulder, and soon her hands followed with a wet, limp towel. The pink-haired girl cringed a little, and the muscles of her back rippled with tension, then relaxed again.

"How did this happen?"

How _had _this happened again? Reisen had to admit she was enjoying herself far too much to remember.

"Um, Hime-san told me to climb a tree, I think. Her scarf had gotten swept up top by the wind, so I went after it, and must have lost my footing. Something will have got me on the way down, probably a branch."

Eirin sighed, fumbling around for a bandage. Reisen sat, listening contently to the clatter of tools and the rustle of papers immediately behind her, like the harsh push and pull of stormy waters. Eirin's frustrated half-whispered curses were the call of ships for salvation, which began to subside as they caught sight of the shore.

"You're very badly cut up. Would you mind taking your shirt off?"

"N-no. Not at all."

That was a lie, of course. Reisen was so fucking hot she felt she might burn, and her skin was certainly turning as red as fire might have made it. Slowly and with trembling hands, she loosened her tie even further and pushed it up around her neck, moving as stiffly as she could to undo her buttons. Somehow, though, her fingers refused to do her bidding.

"Oh, it's okay if you're tired. Here."

Reisen's breath caught in her throat. She hadn't even noticed the nurse leaning ever closer until she was right – _right there_. She was right there, with her hands on Reisen's collar, pulling it open gently, killing her softly. Her fluttering eyelashes, her tongue brushing across her upper lip, her nose closing in on Reisen's cheek – _right there_.

Everything began to grow rather faint, rather fast. Before she knew what she was doing, she was clutching onto the sleeves of Eirin's labcoat, and then–

The door flew open, and Suika stood in the doorway, oblivious.

"Yo yo yo, how's it hangin'? Got'ny asprin nur-san?"

Hungover and ruining the moment. Typical Suika.

"Of course. Let me get you some water."

Eirin walked off rather quickly, before Reisen could catch sight of her expression. The pink-haired girl frowned; she'd fucked it up, she was going to be expelled, fuck. No other words could describe.

"FYI Rei-rei," said Suika, downing a handful of pills with water, "paaartaaay for Valentine's Day, Fridaaaay! My place! Be there!"

Reisen tried to glare at the little redhead as best as she could, but her expression only served to come out as a tired, acknowledging glance. As the door clicked behind Suika, Eirin resumed her work cleaning and wrapping Reisen's deep, jutting flesh wound. This time, however, she approached from behind, so that Reisen could feel her breath slow and heavy by her ear.

"You can lean back if you'd like, Reisen."

She might have imagined the tenderness of Eirin's tone and the sound of her own given name, but the pink-haired could hardly tell her own limbs apart by this point. So she opted to do as recommended and leaned back onto a shoulder, quickly falling asleep.

* * *

**A/N: **Omg, it's only been a month and a bit since my last update! This is a record orz

Anyway, have some new characters/plot bunnies! (OH GOD I'M SO PUNNY)

**Psykoakuma: **I've been having a bit of an ongoing struggle with writer's block, but fear not, for I shall never abandon this fic! (Seriously it's pure yuri goodness I could never leave it unfinished orz)

Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed them, they're one of my favourites hehe. Oh don't worry, the fish in the sea thing is exactly the reference. I'm so punny

Gaaaah, I'm so excited to write more for you! The MariAli side will get good. Veeery good. And as far as the title is concerned, I shall give you a hint… coughbossthemecough! As far as why I picked that particular one, that'll become clearer with time… MWAHAHAHAA…

**I3UNONOTRLLY: **I'm sorry! :( I'll try to be better with updating in the future, but I can't make any promises! I'm a straight A student grumble grumble and I've been slacking off grumble grumble… :(

**Eat Well And: **That's awesome, I'm so glad you think I've improved! :D

Why thank you, I try my best with characterisation. As far as the reason why Marisa fell for Alice, I think that'll become clearer with time, but suffice to say she hasn't fallen yet. She's intrigued and has kind of a crush at the moment. Same with Alice's grudge against Marisa; all shall be revealed in time. ;)

**LelUCares: **Thank you so much! I'm really chuffed everyone seems to think I've improved. :D

**Olive343: **Oh wow, thank you for noticing that! I've fixed it now. Thanks! :)

**Kenji, L, & Yuugi Hoshiguma: **Thanks! There shall be more!


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